This isn’t anything I had planned. In fact, I didn’t even really know what I was writing as I was in the midst of it, but whatever. It was more just a writing exercise of sorts for me, to get back in the swing of things and prepare me for tackling one of the stories I’ve been meaning to write.
And, hey, you might want to breathe as little as possible while you read this.
You get headaches, don’t you? Do you ever think about what causes them? When you shake your head, are you saying you don’t think about it, or that you don’t get headaches? If it’s the former, you should, and if it’s the latter, don’t deny it, I know you do.
How do I know? I know, and that’s all. Don’t ask me who I am, no, that’s not for you to know. You get headaches, and that’s the subject of what we’re talking about here.
So, do you think about what causes them? No? You should. You definitely should. Have you ever thought about how many invisible waves are going through your body at any given moment? Have you ever thought about what’s in the air you’re breathing right now? It’s invisible, you think, so there can’t be anything in it. If there was something in it you’d see it, just like exhaust. You don’t breathe exhaust, do you? No, I didn’t think so. In fact, I knew you didn’t. Who does that? Nobody, that’s who.
But the air. There’s stuff in it. Chemicals. Well, that’s always been the case; there’s nitrogen, and oxygen, and carbon dioxide, and water vapor, and some other stuff in smaller quantities. But what would you think if I told you there’s other stuff in the air too? Stuff they don’t want you to know about.
Who’s “they”? Oh, I dunno, it’s just them. The People who know that kind of thing.
I see you’re getting ideas about who I am. No, no, don’t even try to think about that, I know you can’t figure it out. I’m not who you think I am, and I’m not who you think I’m not. Double negative, you say, so I must be who you thought I wasn’t. Well, I’m not that person either. Like I said, don’t even try to figure it out, your little mind can’t handle that kind of thing. Just think about what I’m telling you about.
The things in the air. You can’t see them, so you can’t know they’re there. In fact, even if you were able to see all the molecules in the air, you still wouldn’t see them. They’re there. Don’t try to prove it, you can’t. But they’re there. Take my word for it. (I see you trying to figure out how you can know you can take my word for it. Stop, just stop. This isn’t about me.)
It’s about you, and the headaches, and the electromagnetic waves, and the things in the air. Most people would have figured it out already, but I know you haven’t. The things in the air give you the headaches. How, if they’re smaller than everything else in the air, if they’re not even chemicals in the technical sense – did I mention that already? Well, it’s what they do, it’s what they were made to do. Who made them? The People I mentioned earlier, of course. God, I really have to spell out everything for you, don’t I?
I see you’re getting a headache right now, and you’re thinking it’s because of everything I’m telling you, or maybe what I’m telling you is making you think you should have a headache right now. Either case, you’re wrong. It’s the things in the air.
You’re beginning to doubt me. Actually, I should correct that. You’ve been skeptical this entire time about what I’ve been saying, but now you’re truly beginning to think I’m a maniac. That’s fine, that’s your choice, you can keep having the headaches if you want. You can dismiss everything I say as ravings of a conspiracy theorist.
Oh, did I just imply that I am a conspiracy theorist? It would appear that’s what you’re thinking right now. No, I didn’t, what I was saying was that you might dismiss what I’m saying by considering me one.
I used to be one of the People. Ah, I’ve got your interest back. Yes, I used to. That’s far more than you need to know about me, but I’ll give it to you anyway. I know these things because I was one of them. Here’s something else; the People aren’t really people.
Oh dear, it seems to me that you’re thinking that means I’m not human because I used to be one of Them. Well, saying they aren’t “people” isn’t the same as saying they aren’t human. No, no, don’t ask questions. I won’t explain it to you, and even if I tried, you wouldn’t understand. I know you wouldn’t, as I checked already.
What can you do to stop the headaches, you’re wondering? Well, that’s a bit tricky. Basically, you can’t. There isn’t any way that you can stop breathing the air, and even if you somehow managed to get to some air that didn’t have the things in it, you wouldn’t know that, would you? It’s all invisible, of course, all the air is the same color.
Oh, you don’t see the color of the air, do you? My mistake. But it’s all to the same effect, you can’t see any difference, and you could never be sure that it was clean.
Well, I’ve got to be going, now. Why are you upset? (I know already, of course.) You’re upset at me for making you paranoid about something you can’t change? It would have been just the same if I hadn’t told you. You’d still be breathing in the things, you’d still be getting the headaches, and the People would still exist. All that’s changed is that you know about it. Why should you get upset at me, then? I’ve gifted you with knowledge few people have.
I really must be going, but I’ll tell you one last thing. There are far more of the People than you’d think. They aren’t separate from everyone else – actually “everyone else” is a rather inaccurate way of putting it. What did I mean by that? Sorry, I can’t explain that right now, and even if I did I’m sure you’d be very distraught about it. I’ve got to leave now, goodbye. Maybe just don’t… breathe as much. Will that be a problem?